Untukku, yang sedang belajar untuk menjadi tidak sempurna.

Dulu sekali, dua tahun lalu aku pernah menulis sebuah artikel yang menceritakan keresahanku sebagai seorang mahasiswa Psikologi. Inti tulisannya bahwa mahasiswa atau siapapun yang sedang mendalami Psikologi, punya hak untuk merasa tidak baik-baik saja.

Beberapa hari yang lalu, ada sebuah kejadian yang memaksaku untuk berpikir ulang; tentang konsep diri dan berbagai aturan yang aku buat sendiri. Aku melakukan sebuah kesalahan yang menurut standarku, sangat keterlaluan.

We need someone to remind about mental health

I’ve learned a lot how our mental health could affect our physical health.

But I realized that I need someone to remind me about it. 

In one moment I thought I was okay, or at least just get more tension than usual but still okay. Now I realize I’m not that okay mentally.
Kinda stressed.

*
Been a vey long time didn’t write in a blog feels awkward for me. I still write, but only for answering consultation with clients and research.

I used to talk a lot with myself, contemplating through writings. But now I realise it feels strange to do this again. Now let me try to write everything out – to talk about what happens lately and how it affects my mental health:

Things I learned about leaving.

In the past 3 days, my life turned upside down. It’s kind of complicated. A misunderstanding between me and someone.

Actually, I had been thinking about leaving my room a year ago. I just thought I could not fit in there. But yeah, I finally could leave yesterday after all the drama.
I write this to release everything inside my mind.

What did I feel right now?
Anger, sadness, disappointed, guilt and other unidentified emotions. I lost my concentration and it feels hard to be mindful in everything I did for past three days.

But also, there are three things I learned about my leaving.

Sebuah Tulisan untuk #CatatanPKPP: Tempat Ketiga

“Saya nggak mau kalian ada di sini tapi ilmu yang kalian dapat itu-itu saja.” 

- seorang Psikiater di kelas Matrikulasi Diagnosis Gangguan Jiwa.

Sudah sebulan berlalu sejak pertama kali masuk di tempat praktik ketiga: Rumah Sakit Jiwa. Sudah selesai sih praktiknya, tapi rasa-rasanya sayang kalau kenangan praktik di tempat ketiga ini hanya disimpan dalam ingatan.

*

Kapan Terakhir Kali Kamu Merasa Kesepian?

Kapan terakhir kali kamu merasa kesepian?

*

Hari ini aku berencana untuk membeli satu barang dan berharap ada teman yang bisa menemani. Sampai beberapa jam aku berusaha menghubungi satu per satu teman, nggak ada seorang pun yang punya waktu luang. Ya aku tahu, rencanaku ini benar-benar mendadak. 

Self Intervention

.....

'Cause the players gonna play,

And the haters gonna hate,

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, 

I shake it off, I shake it off

Heart-breakers gonna break,

And the fakers gonna fake, 

Baby, I'm just gonna shake,

I shake it off, I shake it off

*

A quick post to sum up the first week on Jogja after one month holiday.

Persona

I’d just slapped. Not literally, hahaha.

Yesterday was a sunny afternoon – after raining for several days – when I met my high-school best friend. It was a simple conversation, very simple but for me, it makes me think more. About me and this blog, my writings.

“You have changed or just growing up? I don’t know.

I thought, there’s something different about your posts (on blog). I just thought that there’s something you hide between your words. Do you make some boundaries?

What I know is that I was bored with your last writings."

Definitely, she said something which I’d questioned to my self recently. She found it. She showed me the wrong part.

Though what she said isn’t 100% true.

a brand new day, bienvenue.

Photo taken by Nisrina.

I dunno why I’m feeling so blue today. 

This should be a special day, right?

But why, by the time I’m writing this post I’m still feeling unwell. I’ve tried to ask myself about it.  I just found…nothing.

I’m trying to figure it out the reason of the clouds in my mind.

Oh, Nisrina, 
How could you being sad all day long, even when everyone congratulating you for your best day?

your favorite quotes.

“The past could affect the future.”

image taken from nisrinays instagram

And that words make me think more about it.

Actually, I often think about random moments which had happened; which I’d been through, or you may called it: the past.

Well, I sometimes enjoy to recall the past because… it was quite interesting.

The moment when you created your facebook account for the first time, when you had a ‘galau moment’ in your teenager phase, when you fell in love then finally had a relationship with him/her that you like, when for the first time you got a heartbreak….

bermain dengan impian.

Selamat malam, maaf untuk postingan berbahasa Indonesia (lagi). 

Bolehkah saya berbagi cerita di malam minggu nan sendu ini? Di sela-sela tugas yang menyita minggu-penuh-liburan ini, bolehkah?

Jadi begini, 

Sejak awal semester empat ini, kepala saya sudah dipenuhi setumpuk pertanyaan yang belum juga terjawab hingga sekarang.Dan mendadak saya merasa menjadi remaja akhir yang baru mengalami krisis identitas. 

Ya, saya merasa terlambat menghadapi krisis identitas. 

dear blog, I miss home.

Hey, blog!
It’s been a week for my 4th semester.
Alhamdulillah.
I do hope that I could through this semester well. Aaamiin.

I don’t know why, but I miss my home so much. (btw, I went back to Jogja since February 13th)
I miss mom, dad, and my two brothers, nabil and fakhri. I suddenly want to go back to Pekalongan, because I think that is the comfort place ever. Home.
But then, I know, that this is just a phase we're going to through in life.
And here I am. A psychology student that currently lives in Jogja. Hahaha.

Well then, welcome 4th semester. There will be lots of activity. More tasks, more challenges, more responsibility. Hmmppph.
Also, what I really need right now is: lots of energy and courage.

Btw, about my writing project I’ve told you on last post….. I still waiting for the good news about it, heheuu. Surely, I’ll tell you more as soon as I’ve got the answer. I swear.
*

How’s your life fellas?

Wishing you to have a good day and good life. Wherever you are.
Don’t forget to always be grateful with everything have or you don’t have.
You know, everything happens for a reason, right? And… what will be yours, will actually be yours. You just need to be more patient for it. Hihihi :p
Talk to you later,
xx, Nisrina