Redefining My Kind of Therapy

I used to write whenever I feel not okay; when I feel so anxious, sad, angry, disappointed.

Everything that bother and make me restless. I also used to write whenever I feel so happy or did some achievement; I thought at that time, I need to save it digitally so that I can re-read it everytime.

I started to write in my diary when I was in elementary school. It was a A6- size striped book with the padlock. I write it almost every day.

I still remember a day when my mom read my diary. I was upset because it’s my privacy. At the end, she never touched my diary and respect it as my privacy.

One anxious night; The truth about being an overthinker

“Yang ditunggu, yang diharap, biarkanlah semesta bekerja untukmu.”

– Rehat, Kunto Aji.

I had gloomy days several days ago. I could easily blame the hormones (because it’s my menstrual cycle), but I know it’s just a trigger.

I can be so anxious when I think too much.
And here goes the time. After what I’ve written on my post about new year resolution, I think that was a challenge I need to face.

One Tuesday night, I got a sudden sadness “attack”. I already felt so tired but also need to do lots of stuff that time. Then comes my anxiety, which suddenly changed into a “sadness attack”. I cried all night. It was hard for me to sleep because I couldn’t stop crying that time.
I felt so sad and find nobody because it was midnight.

Things I learned about leaving.

In the past 3 days, my life turned upside down. It’s kind of complicated. A misunderstanding between me and someone.

Actually, I had been thinking about leaving my room a year ago. I just thought I could not fit in there. But yeah, I finally could leave yesterday after all the drama.
I write this to release everything inside my mind.

What did I feel right now?
Anger, sadness, disappointed, guilt and other unidentified emotions. I lost my concentration and it feels hard to be mindful in everything I did for past three days.

But also, there are three things I learned about my leaving.

Apa yang Kulakukan Ketika Kehilangan Diri Sendiri

Sudah lebih dari satu bulan sejak aku resmi menjalani Praktik Kerja Profesi Psikolog (PKPP). Ada banyak cerita yang terjadi tentu saja. Namun satu hal yang pasti aku rasakan: stress.

Ada banyak hal yang perlu dikerjakan dalam waktu yang singkat. Ada penyesuaian yang perlu dilakukan dengan sangat cepat. Ada laporan yang perlu digarap. Dan ada hal yang terjadi di luar rencana. Melelahkan? Tentu saja. Secara fisik dan pikiran.

Above all, kemarin aku tersadar satu hal: aku melupakan diriku sendiri.