Persona

I’d just slapped. Not literally, hahaha.

Yesterday was a sunny afternoon – after raining for several days – when I met my high-school best friend. It was a simple conversation, very simple but for me, it makes me think more. About me and this blog, my writings.

“You have changed or just growing up? I don’t know.

I thought, there’s something different about your posts (on blog). I just thought that there’s something you hide between your words. Do you make some boundaries?

What I know is that I was bored with your last writings."

Definitely, she said something which I’d questioned to my self recently. She found it. She showed me the wrong part.

Though what she said isn’t 100% true.

So yes, I’d been trying to change my way of writing blogs just to gain more visitors. 

The result? 

I don’t know whether my visitors, including you who read this post, are really read or just visit for a while and decide not to be back here.

Does it make me happy?

No. Not at all.

I’ve just realized that deep in my self, I was exhausted of being not me. Yes, this was not so me. I've just realized that writing, to impress others, is definitely wrong. I’ve been holding my self to be not too outspoken. Then I tried to make some parable or translate it to more decent words to make it acceptable.

But then, to change my way of writings is my own decision and I'm not sorry for it.

May be, I should correct my way of writing without losing my own “voice”.

See? 

Growing up is really hard.

Most of all, I’d like to thank her. Alhamdulillah, I’m blessed to have you as my best friends! :”)

Sadly, we don't have enough time to talk. See you really soon!

I believed that the more we are being criticized, the more they care about us.

Sincerely,

Nisrina.

*PS: I finally got back to Jogja to prepare myself for the next old semester! Let’s spend the rest of the holiday with more laughs and inspirational conversation!