Things I learned about leaving.

In the past 3 days, my life turned upside down. It’s kind of complicated. A misunderstanding between me and someone.

Actually, I had been thinking about leaving my room a year ago. I just thought I could not fit in there. But yeah, I finally could leave yesterday after all the drama.
I write this to release everything inside my mind.

What did I feel right now?
Anger, sadness, disappointed, guilt and other unidentified emotions. I lost my concentration and it feels hard to be mindful in everything I did for past three days.

But also, there are three things I learned about my leaving.

• Not everyone will understand us
I realize, I was wrong too. I know how impolite I was at the moment. But the most broken hearted moment was I couldn’t have a chance to explain everything. Now I learned that we are not always get what we want. People will judge us no matter what we did.

• Your room is just a room until you gave it memories and meaning
I cried when I was packing. I cried at the moment I realised how empty my room was (because I had lift it). I cried because it feels like home, even though I realised it was my thought. At the end I know it’s just a room.

• See the good in every crisis
As I said before, I planned to leave about a year ago. Because I had ever been on the similar situation, but I choose to stay. What’s good about leaving? I could declutter my stuff and it feels good. I didn’t realised I had so much stuff until I packed it. Another good news? May it be my motivation to finish my master degree.

I still feel terrible about myself. I still have negative self-talk to me. But I’ve tried my best. I did what I really want to do.

May this moment be my learning process to make me better and more mature.

With love,
Nisrina.