Kesalahan yang Mendewasakan: Bisakah Memaafkan Kesalahan Sendiri?

“Aku pernah ngelakuin kesalahan besar dan bikin orang sakit hati,” kataku pada seorang teman di hari Jumat minggu ini. | Photo by Daniel Tafjord on Unsplash

Setelah itu aku mulai menceritakan pengalaman itu padanya.

Sebuah pengalaman yang bagiku termasuk dalam pelanggaran besar atas prinsip yang aku yakini sendiri, dua tahun lalu. Terlepas dari apa dan bagaimana sebabnya, tindakanku saat itu adalah sesuatu yang sulit untuk aku maafkan sendiri.

“Kok bisa ya, kamu santai banget cerita ini.” Kata temanku setelah cukup lama kami berbincang.

Mengurai Kenangan, Memanggil Kembali Ingatan

“I know I am loved. I am surrounded with love, because I feel so.”

Ingatan adalah dua sisi mata uang.

Kadang kita ingin menjaganya baik-baik, tak jarang juga kita ingin membuangnya lekas-lekas. Sayangnya, kita tidak bisa memilih ingatan mana yang menetap, mana yang lamat-lamat hilang menguap.

Jangan pikir ketika kita tidak mengingat apa-apa tentang satu hal, itu artinya kita telah benar-benar melupakannya. Barangkali ingatan itu justru berada dalam tempat penyimpanan yang lebih permanen: di bawah kesadaran kita.

Perempuan itu, Kamu.

Semua perempuan cantik. Saya percaya itu,
       dan akan selalu percaya.

Masalah warna kulit, ukuran tubuh, wajah, dan hal-hal berbau fisik lainnya adalah masalah yang tidak sepantasnya diperdebatkan. Sama halnya ketika ada seseorang yang mengatakan “Dia cantik”, dan “Kamu nggak cantik” (bagian ini sepertinya jarang didengar secara langsung, haha).

Definisi cantik menurut saya?

“Seseorang yang percaya diri, mampu menerima keadaan dirinya sendiri, berwawasan luas, memiliki kebaikan hati, dan tidak pernah lelah untuk menebarkan kebaikan dan kebermanfaatannya untuk siapapun di dunia ini.”

Tidak ada fisik, tidak ada hal-hal lain selain fitrahnya sebagai perempuan, sebagai manusia, sebagai makhluk ciptaan-Nya.

Namun apalah arti cantik jika tidak diikuti dengan hal-hal positif yang dilakukan untuk bisa mengembangkan dirinya sendiri?

Self Intervention

.....

'Cause the players gonna play,

And the haters gonna hate,

Baby, I'm just gonna shake, 

I shake it off, I shake it off

Heart-breakers gonna break,

And the fakers gonna fake, 

Baby, I'm just gonna shake,

I shake it off, I shake it off

*

A quick post to sum up the first week on Jogja after one month holiday.

obsesi turun berat badan.

diambil dari instagram nisrina.

Sudah lama saya ingin berbagi cerita tentang obsesi-menjadi-kurus saya di blog.

Iya, siapa sih cewek di dunia ini yang nggak kepengen kelihatan oke di depan kamera-meskipun-hanya-kamera-hape-dan-diunggah-ke-media-sosial?

Nah salah satu cara saya untuk mencapai keinginan saya agar-kelihatan-oke adalah dengan berolahraga dan berdiet.

more stories!

Heyaaaa, just finished one of my short-story as 'Tugas Harian' for Akademi Bercerita. Here, you can find my stories: Rakcerita.com. There still 27 stories-to-write. Yes, I'll write one story everyday there. You can read another stories from another authors. Just visit the website!
Then, still there much tasks and things to do.
I'll not write much post here.

If you miss me, you know where to find me: rakcerita.com and my twitter account: @nisrinays.
There you go.
These tasks are waiting to be finished!
Talk to you as soon as possible.

Tchao!
Nisrina.

dear blog, I miss home.

Hey, blog!
It’s been a week for my 4th semester.
Alhamdulillah.
I do hope that I could through this semester well. Aaamiin.

I don’t know why, but I miss my home so much. (btw, I went back to Jogja since February 13th)
I miss mom, dad, and my two brothers, nabil and fakhri. I suddenly want to go back to Pekalongan, because I think that is the comfort place ever. Home.
But then, I know, that this is just a phase we're going to through in life.
And here I am. A psychology student that currently lives in Jogja. Hahaha.

Well then, welcome 4th semester. There will be lots of activity. More tasks, more challenges, more responsibility. Hmmppph.
Also, what I really need right now is: lots of energy and courage.

Btw, about my writing project I’ve told you on last post….. I still waiting for the good news about it, heheuu. Surely, I’ll tell you more as soon as I’ve got the answer. I swear.
*

How’s your life fellas?

Wishing you to have a good day and good life. Wherever you are.
Don’t forget to always be grateful with everything have or you don’t have.
You know, everything happens for a reason, right? And… what will be yours, will actually be yours. You just need to be more patient for it. Hihihi :p
Talk to you later,
xx, Nisrina

self talk.

It’s almost november.
Hmm.
What I’ve been through so far?
Is that really busy as you said on your last post, Nisrina? Or it’s just your dramatical life that makes it feel so hard to be through,Nis?
What you’ve got so far?
Are those things really worth-to-do? Are those things make you getting closer to what you want in your future,Nis?
Yeah.
I’m asking myself.
*Well, If you wanna answer it , just answer, for yourself not for me.

Where everything seems harder as it looks. When everything you’ve done seems not right, even for yourself. When you could be stressful yet happy at the same time. When you try to do your best, even when you realize at the end you didn’t do your best. When you feel so confused about which one you should choose. That is life.
This is life.
And this is yours, Nis.
*
How my current life seems like….

I know where and how to start, but then I forget my own tract and couldn’t find the finish line. I got lost. Somebody please help me to find the finish line.
*

But for the hard times, coming back to you is the sweetest escape I’ve ever had, Blog.

a hello from miss busy-wizzy.

Seriously, I've been missed you so much, blog. 

I miss blogging, writing, reading, also, I miss my weekends! 

Since I haven't had a 'real' weekend for September, October, and also November. 

I miss my hometown too. 

I miss my family. 

Mom, dad, nabil and fakhri. 

Ah, I miss everything right now. 

 Can someone call 'doraemon' for his 'magical-door'?

xoxo, 

it's been a year.

Mostly-heard-sentences, these days…
“Oh, how time flies so fast.”
“Oh, how It’s been a year.”
“A year ago I was busy doing this, this, and that.”
“Oh, how I hate to grow up.”
Emm…the last sentence is exactly what’s on my mind.
I hate growing up. I hate becoming older and older. I hate when everything seems different than before; everything’s change.

On 2012,
I was a new-college-student. I was really afraid of living far away from my parents, I was also afraid of meeting new people.
That was a year ago. When my journey to the real life had just started.
You must have ever heard kind of old wisdom: "Nothing lasts forever."
I do agree.
Yes I really do.
But people are people.
Basically, people tend to choose everything that makes them more comfortable. Change isn’t a good friend for comfort.
Then here’s something we have to notice: change isn’t a good friend of comfort—at the first time.
When we try to see it clearly, change is a natural thing. It happens anytime until we couldn’t realize.
So let's be friend with changes. So when it comes your turn, you could prepare and greet them well :)
*

This would be my another a hectic week.
Wish me luck!
xoxo,

an old friend of mine.

*edited*
I met my old friend several days ago and have a short coversation with him. Then suddenly he said something I never thought before, and that's really surprised me... 

“... you are the type of person who would not work so hard for something you thought unimportant. I know, that’s you, Nis..."

But then…should I leave everything when it has been already in the middle of the work?

Btw, that day was a not a sweet one, but a fun yet interesting talk with you. It is always fun to know what’s on your mind. Your thoughts, your words,  are always innocent, honest, and straightforward. 

Yeah, thank you, N.

Thank you for making me knows my self better.

*
"Sometimes people get to know you better than yourself. Sometimes you need a person who could show something you hide." 

xoxo, 

*I've removed some words on this post, 

just...it would be better if I don't write something too personal here :)

Les vacances avec ma famille!

Bonjour! I send you a 'good morning' here, live from Pekalongan! 

Yay, I'm already home....but I should've go back to Jogja tommorrow :( 

Actually I've finished mycollege-stuff. But yeah, I still busy for organizational-stuff. It's okay, I've chosen those activites by myself so there's no reason to feel sorry about them. Anyhow, how's your holiday? 

Me? Aaaah, I bet I've got such a fun one. My cousins come to Pekalongan on Saturday-Sunday. Then, My dad brought us to the beach. That was fun, even just a simply thing like that :)

.

Aaand about my IPS-score....umm.....*can we talk about it later?

Then..... there's a thing that I've been doing lately..... I do write some short stories again! hahaha, I bet my short-stories haven't good yet, but yeah, I'm trying to write better. Just wish me tonssss of luck!

Talk to you later, palss!

I wish you all have a nice and great and awesome holiday!

Tchao,

and finally I'm back!

Salut!
Comment-allez vous? 

I do miss you so much blog!
You know, these days I’ve made much suprisingly-decision. I, myself never thought that I’d do such a totally-crazy thing. The first one was failed before I did something to get it. Hahahaha. So, yes, I was disqualified because I couldn’t come on the selection day. Aaand the second one will be coming up on June 1st. hahaha Wish me all the best! And for this second decision I made, my friends thought that I was crazy.
But yes, you-all are right, I have been crazy -_- hahahah.

*

Btw, It's been a year since the announcement day of snmptn undangan for me. And yesterday was the announcement day of snmptn undangan for 2013. I feel touched reading their happy-tweet for those who finally had got what they want. Yaaay, I was. Hahaha :') 

Aaaand for those who haven't got what you want, do not give up! 

I found this beautiful quotation for youuu!

"I know it hurts right now. But things are not always what they seem in the moment. Give it some time, life has a way for solve it to be better." - Starstruck Movie (2010)

Yeah, life has a way for solve it to be better. God must have had a beautiful plan for you! :) Keep trying, keep praying, keep fighting!! *hugs*

*

Woohoo, It’s almost Juneeee! That would be my last month for the second semester college!
Do you know what does it mean???
Do you smell something???
I do!!!

It means H-O-L-I-D-A-Y! I smell H-O-L-I-D-A-Y! WOOHOO. So please, June,  come and end faster, because me want JULY! :3

Anyhow, I don’t know why 4 posts before this post were “galau” posts-_- Ah, reading these old posts have finally make me feel so embarassed -_- how not-so-unimportant- posts - they were!
I am sorry, blog. I promise, I won’t be “galau” on my next posts :3

So how’s your day, bloggie?
I do hope yours were as awesome as mine!

Tchao!

a moment to re-think.

"You know, Nis. I think you are not as cheerful as you were on last semester."
-  a friend of mine, several days ago.

that moment.

I'm still wondering when will I go home. I mean, yeah, I bet I got a sudden-home sick. hahahah. Yes, Already miss my home...umm, no, actually I miss my family. I miss my mom, my dad, and my brothers. I just....miss them so much right now.

Dear mommy, daddy, yes I do miss you both right now :(

FYI, I've just had a short conversation with them by phone. Aaaand yeah, I just miss them so bad
I still don't know when will I go home since I found no long-weekend for next month :(
Ah :(
Yes, I do feeling so sad.
One of my brother, Nabil, also will have a national examination on next week,  April, 29th. I really wish I could meet him and say something to make him feel better and do his exams well. Yes, I DO REALLY WANNA GO HOME :(
*

 ._. Okay, enough ._. hahahaha. Enough for this so-melancholic-post ._. hahaha.
So how are you doing?
How's your weekend?
Does your crush finally know you? *ooops hahahaha.
Yes, he is. But he's just........ hahaha okay then forget about it.
see you next post!!

xoxo,

*image source: pinterest.com

losing something.

weheartit.com

"Growing up is about losing things." Quinn Fabray -Glee season 2.

*

Since the day I started my second semester class.

Frankly, my daily life seems so messy. Theese days.

Everything seems out-of-my plan, but yes, this also because of me.

I do ruin my own schedule. 

Even I had to skip my favorite-even-mood booster-ever: French lesson.

I do regret, even feel so guilty.

But then, again I do the same mistakes. 

"What's wrong with you, Nisrina?" 

I even can't handle myself.

I'm screwed.

Ah, yeah, welcome April!

Even I can't start April with the better one. 

I do really trying to make things better. 

But somehow....

I found out that this seems useless :( 

"Where are you, motivation?"

"I do need you, as soon as possible, even as soon as I wake up tomorrow."

FYI, I've just lost my favorite bracelet from mom.

Today, yes today. 

So yes, better I congratulate my self.

"Congratulations for being so careless! You are the winner!"

unimportant girl,

Miss Nerdy

bon week-end!

BONJOUR! 

It's a really early post! hahahaha. Yes, finally I could take a breath, relax this weekend. Today I'll tidy up my room. Umm.. also, still busy to study for 'Ujian Blok' next Monday. 

Overall, yeah, I'm glad because finally I could stay on my room all day long! woohoo. But, yeah, next week I will be busier yet exciting. I'll talk to you soon! 

Happy Weekend! 

Bon week-end!  

Yes, this is my own room! I love the decoration, eventhough it seems rather weird ._. pffft 

xoxo,

Miss Nerdy.

j'aime beacoup...

Bonjour!
3 days left before I go back to Jogja! Hiks, so sad actually... Today is another my un-productive-day! Yay! But It's gettig worse since I get a stomatchache (because of my first day of period time) and eye-ache(?). Hahaha, whatsoever.

Anyhow, This is a special post. Why? Because it was inspired by Kak Diana's post. Yeah, about some little things that made us happy.

And here goes...what I do when I'm get bored. You may call it a moodbooster:

1. Visiting my favorite online shopping(s). Seeing their cute products and then feeling guilty because I always want to buy all of them. Yes, I get a “oh-Gosh, I should buy this one, no, I also want to buy this”-feeling. HAHAHA. Don't worry, my mum has already warned and forbid me to do such online shopping and 'real' shopping.
2. Blogwalking to my favorite fashion blogger(s)! Yeah, I always love their unique yet fashionable styles! And sometimes, I want to be a fashion blogger too. But yeah, I realize that I'm not stylish enough. LOL
3. Playing Pinterest! Yeah, It is totally fun! You can find many photos in many categories aaand it-is-so-much-fun!
4. Watching Youtube, usually I watch a music video. Oh, yes, I loove doing this but there's something wrong with my laptop that makes it can't play any youtube video until now. Ugh... :'(
5. Blogging! And Writing!
6. Last but not least, listening to music. Whatever music in my playlist!

Look what I've found on Pinterest!

I can't agree more! 

So... what's yours? What's your moodbooster?
tell me, tell me! :D

xoxo,

this is what makes me feel better.

Bonjour blog!

Ça va?

Moi, je suis bien. Trés bien.

Ah, oui!

I’ve started my french course. Aaand it is fun. Fun. Fun. Totally fun. It’s like when you do something to release the stress because of too-much-college-tasks-to-do.

Time flies.

 I was sorry for not posting regularly here :’( since something wrong with my blog or my modem or..yeah, I dunno.

My first semester as a college student will nearly end. I’ll become a second-semester-college student. Uumm… amazing. Yay, amazing. I feel so unbelieveable that I finally could pass my first semester well. Even I still don’t know how my IP is. Overall, being a college student is good. Fun. Amazing.

Actually, I feel so lucky being of college student. Since there, outside here, still many people want to study in a college. Thank God, Alhamdulillah.

I have promised to myself that I won’t waste my time here doing nothing. I will do something. I will use my chance as a college student to study more. To ask more and more. To never feel enough with my knowledge. *errr….okay, I think it’s too much*

But yes. That is.

Maybe I’ve finally found my daily rythms.

My daily activities.

College-course-tasks-“galau-ing”-….

Homesick? Sometimes, but I haaaardly ever feel it these days. 

FYI, on December 23^rd -24^th , my parents and my brothers had just visited me :p muehehe. Sooo glad since I needn’t go home which takes a very long time journey. 5 hours. Hahaha.

Then…what?

What makes me sad is that I still haven’t met my besties yet. :’( Betha, Opi, Izzah, Saras, and even Diba who also study in Jogja.

Anyway, I’ve been in love again! With Yogyakarta of course! :p

Hahahahaha.

Yes, last holiday my Family and I visited Prambanan Temple. It was aaaaawesome! Amazing! I think I’ve to go back there since I haven’t finished to visit all of the 1000 temples there :p

See ya on my next post!

Miss ya so much!!!!!

xoxo,

*ps: I want to share some photos but there’s something wrong with my laptop :’( I’ll post it later maybe :’(

rather long post.

Bonjour, blog!
I’m back! Yay! New story, lots of story!
College stuff and my new activity: take a french course! Yay. Hahaha.
Anyway, how are you doing? Do you miss me? No? It’s okay. But I miss you so much much much blog! I have had a plan to post something here since 4 days ago. But yes,unfortunately  I’m too busy :p huahaha.

But….. I’m sad right now, blog.
I don’t know but everything becomes too messy for me. Everything seems hard to be organized. Everything seems too complicated. I don’t know but I think there’s something like a tangle thread .  I don’t know. Umm.. everytime I try to think about one thing, then comes another things. Aaaand so on.
Gosh, I don’t know.
 What’s wrong with me :’’’(
 Am I rather stress? 
Too much thing to do.
Too much thing I wanna do but yes, I have some problem with time management. Uhm.. Okay. To be honest.

I’m totally confused. Chaos.
The worst thing about me is that I ALWAYS think about something that haven’t happened yet. Yes, I’m worried too much. Sometimes also labile. OH GOSH-__-

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. Aaaaand by the time I write this post, I still have unfinished-even a- haven't-done-yet task. Basic psychology- cognitive part. 2.

Overall, My love for psychology is getting bigger and bigger *wetsaaaaaaaah*. Learning psychology makes you understand you. And I love it. Yes, Psychology, I love you so much! :* ahahah

And also, last Monday was my first class for french course. It was interesting! Fun! But… hahahaha there’s something funny about one of my classmates. But yeah, I won’t tell you about it :p
Since he is....….......
okay, enough.

Bye Blog!
See you next time!
Tchao!