Monday 11 March 2019

One anxious night; The truth about being an overthinker

Yang ditunggu, yang diharap, biarkanlah semesta bekerja untukmu.”
– Rehat, Kunto Aji.

I had gloomy days several days ago. I could easily blame the hormones (because it’s my menstrual cycle), but I know it’s just a trigger.

I can be so anxious when I think too much.
And here goes the time. After what I’ve written on my post about new year resolution, I think that was a challenge I need to face.

One Tuesday night, I got a sudden sadness “attack”. I already felt so tired but also need to do lots of stuff that time. Then comes my anxiety, which suddenly changed into a “sadness attack”. I cried all night. It was hard for me to sleep because I couldn’t stop crying that time.
I felt so sad and find nobody because it was midnight.

The next morning, I felt calmer but still with gloomy mood. I could easily cried because of something simple. All I did was texting all of close friends so that I didn’t feel alone. All I knew was I need people to keep my sanity.

I was sad. Scared. Anxious.

Too much mixed feelings and I felt so bad. Until finally, I decided to take a break of everything; my college life. I went home on Friday and already back in the next Sunday.

That was my hardest time of everything;I knew the hormone made it worse.
*
The feeling I experienced several days ago has already taught me many things: About self-awareness, self-love and self-care.

The key points I realize that make me feel better is knowing what I really need. 

That moment I know I need to take a break and go home (because I miss home too!). It works and make me feel better.

Now here I am. Writing these words in college while already did several things I need to do about it.
I realize that studying Psychology and being a soon to be Psychologist – also need a courage to admit what I really feel and it’s not easy.


To whoever having gloomy day or anxiety, I know it is not easy. But to admit about what we really need is the bravest thing to do. You always know you are not alone. 
*Sending virtual hugs*

With love, 
Nisrina

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