i wish i was a cactus.

Have you ever feel that everything you say to others, as an advice, is just fake. You say about your good opinion, about changing to be a better person or doing something good like it was in theory is seems as easy as updating statuses on facebook or tweeting on your twitter.

It’s hard. So hard.

Nowadays, i really got a mixed feeling, if I might call it. Yesterday I felt happy, but today I’m not. And.... nobody knows what I’ll feel tomorrow and the next days and others.

Well, the semester test would be started on 30th May until 8th June. And... I haven’t prepared it well. Actually, I’ve been trying to study, but.... when the books had straight on my face, I feel sleepy, and then.... I’ll fall asleep -_____-V

Okay, this is bad. And I know that I should change......to be a better person. But don’t you know that changing is not as easy as it was said. Okay. This is only my opinion.

I have bad habits and characteristics. Too lazy, too sarcastic, too selfish, too easy for gave up, too emotional, too easy to get angry with someone or something.

I’m trying.

I’m still trying to ,at least, decrease it.

I thought, I’m just......losing my motivation....

Times changing people. So do I. Times changing me.... I don’t know it makes me better or worse. But the one I know that I’m losing my motivation know.
I don’t know where to searching it again. I don’t know where to start.

What mostly I do is tweeting, tweeting , and tweeting.

I’ll be on 12th grade on the next 2 months. I’ll face the final examination, the university-entered-test. Even when I know that the school’s graduation since this year is also taken from report grades. I’m just.... yeah, let everything flow. I’m not change.

Yes, I’m trying to make my report grades better. But it was nothing. I also still haven’t had any ideas where university and departement I’ll take.

Being lazy to do the homework, even cheating on the test... aaaahhh.... I’m getting worse. Too many temptation -_- Even I didn’t care again with my old friends... i never texted to them. I’m just.... losing my self.

I wish I was a cactus.

You know why?

Because cactus have an extraordinary anti-dehydration system on its body.
(like the FaktanyaAdalah said on twitter)

Got a dehydration is bad. It even could make you died. And if I was a cactus, I would hold out with everything that happened at me. Or.... Am I a cactus? Because I’m still here. I’m still realizing what I’ve been done is wrong and hold out for trying to fix it.